Today's post is a guest post from my dear friend, Melody Simms. I hope you will read it, then read it again, then write down sentences, thoughts, phrases that stand out to you. Don't read this quickly. Read it slowly. Take it in. Which part of this is ringing true for you today?
For me, it's at the end with the thought that I am responsible for doing better the next day than I feel I did today. This implies that I am going to pull MYSELF up, that I can find enough strength in myself to do better—and I'll wait until tomorrow to try again. Melody's words served to remind me that all I have is THIS moment, and what I need to do is surrender to my Lord in this moment so He can be my strength in every moment, in every tomorrow.
It's a busy time of year. Anxieties can run away with us. And we can feel more often than not that we are somehow falling short. Be comforted by her words and know that you are not alone. If you need me, please reach out. We don't journey alone.
I’m tired.
Of playing around.
Of allowing other things to come before you.
Of feeling like a failure.
Of getting to the end of each day and promising myself that tomorrow will be different.
I want what you have for me.
I take your gift, I shake it, inspect it, pick at the beautiful wrapping job, and then quickly dismiss it - deciding once again to keep the already opened, comfortable, self-loathing mess.
This moment right now. This one. Let me cling to it. Let me hold so tight to this moment where I so strongly feel your presence. Where I know your realness and would fight to the death anything that tried to take you from me.
I don’t want to get into this tainted day, this tainted world and trade in these truths
—trade in the truth of my security in you for a quick fix.
I don’t want to continue to assess myself based on the coming and goings of my feelings, of my whims.
Rather Lord, I want - scratch that - I NEED to every second of every day cling to the truth that you are the only way out of this pit. You are the only way out of these chains that pull at me so heavily.
You. I need you. I want you. I must have you as close to me as possible at every moment. This is the only way I can walk through this broken world and keep any form of hope.
Dear God, when I try to break away, please don’t let me. Whatever you need to do, do it.
This untainted moment of peace. This beautiful assurance that comes with knowing you are Lord of my life, you are my Savior, you are my strength and my source. Hold me so tight that I can’t even begin to think about pulling away from you.
When things of this world try so hard to distract me, to tell me things I know aren’t true, press into me so that I can’t get away. Hold onto my hand that tries to break your grip, that insists I know best. Or that simply insists, tomorrow I can try again.
Take the word tomorrow from my mouth, my mind, my comprehension.
Today I’m yours.
Today you hold me.
Today - I will not waste.
Today is a gift. I refuse to take one more gift from you and pick at the beautiful outside without fully embracing what’s on the inside.
I want to live for today, not tomorrow.
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